Valentine's Day
by Pendragon2
Summary: A century later, Bella returns to say one last goodbye. Inspired by the song by Linkin Park.


A/N: This is a companion to Shadow of the Day, my other story (though it is MUCH longer), but they are only connected in that they are both what I think might happen in the future. Please review, and no flames, though contructive criticism is appreciated.

Also, I don't own anything in this story that you recognize. Otherwise, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction, I'd be _publishing _it and making money!

X

I knew it had to happen eventually

I knew it had to happen eventually. I mean, sure he didn't age while I was around, but he had to start sometime. And because he had to start up again…

And on the occasion that I thought about him (which was more than I liked to admit), I always wondered: had it happened yet? Would anybody be around to tell me when it did? Did I even want to know?

The answer, to the last at least, was yes. So, I had prepared myself. It had taken me a century to feel ready, to know that if I heard tomorrow, I would not break down. After all, I had made my choice long ago, and there was no turning back.

But the day I heard the news, all of my self-discipline flew out the window, taking a little piece of my heart with it.

I had some warning that something was happening; Alice was avoiding me, and Edward was sulking a little bit. After a century of living with them, I knew that if I waited long enough, I would eventually be enlightened. And I was.

Carlisle brought the mail in; mostly it was just bills, but he passed Edward and I sitting on the couch, he dropped a letter into my lap. What caught my attention was the name on it: _Bella Swan_. Not Isabella. Not even Cullen. There were very few people left in the world, if any, that once knew me by that name, and they all lived in one place.

If it could beat, my heart would have been pounding. I sliced open the envelope. There was a heavy sheet of cardstock in it. I pulled it out and took in the message upon it with silent horror:

_You are invited to a memorial ceremony in honor of_

_Jacob Ephraim Black_

_(1989-2102)_

_Sunday, February 14, 2105_

I was only vaguely aware of Edward's hand on my shoulder. All I could think about was Jacob…dead.

Edward held me close as I sobbed dryly. The situation had so much déjà vu in it that I almost laughed. Who would have thought that nearly a hundred years later, I would still find it possible to cry (as much as I could) for Jacob Black? When I finally calmed down enough to look up, he said, "Alice already bought you a plane ticket."

"Figures," I muttered bitterly. "Wait," I said suddenly. "What about the treaty?"

Edward flipped over the page. On it was a handwritten note:

_Bella—_

_I know he would want you to be here. __You're__ as free to come here as __when you were human __before. _

_Hope to see you soon_

_Seth_

Then something occurred to me, and I turned to Edward. "You aren't invited, are you?"

He shook his head. "That would be pushing it. Besides...I don't really think he'd want me at his funeral."

So a week later, on February 13, I took a plane from London to Newark, then another to Seattle, and a short hop to Port Angeles. It had been so long since I'd made that trip. I didn't need to focus on any sort of control the entire time; we'd gone on a big hunting trip this week, and even if we hadn't, every time I looked at a human, I thought of Jake.

Jake. Jacob Black, my best friend, partner in crime, and alternate soul mate. There was part of me that still hadn't wrapped my mind around the idea that he was dead. I felt like I was just coming to visit him, and when I got to La Push, I would drive up to his house, and he would bound out like he had so many years ago, smiling the smile of _my_ Jacob.

And then the fact that they had to have his funeral on Valentine's Day. What was that all about? Now I imagined him running out with a box of candy hearts, as if everything were just like that Valentine's Day when I had given him a lifetime of servitude. Now it had been more than a lifetime, but why did I still feel guilty?

I got off and picked up my rental car. It took about 15 minutes (at the vampire speed that I now drove at) to get to the reservation. Even though I knew that I was allowed, I was still uneasy about crossing the treaty line. That little irrational voice inside of me was screaming for me to turn around before I was mauled by a giant wolf.

I drove up to Jacob's house. The déjà vu was almost paralyzing. There was that little red house surrounded by woods that had once held another life for me…another destiny. I stepped out of the car and into the damp air. It was raining, surprise surprise. I squished up the familiar little walkway, every step full of painful memories. I could hear voices inside, and I cringed at the thought of meeting the pack again for the first time since…I left. I didn't even try to listen to what they were saying, thought I knew I would be able to hear them perfectly. I knocked on the door and the voices fell silent. Footsteps approached the door. I braced myself for impact.

The door opened, and there was an old man standing in front of me. He looked to be in his 70's, maybe 80's, but there was something about his face that looked familiar. Then logic hit memory, and I recognized the elderly man in front of me as Seth Clearwater.

"Bella," he said, and he smiled sadly. "I knew you'd come."

I was still in shock, but I managed to choke out a greeting. "Thanks…thanks for inviting me, Seth."

He jumped a little, and I realized how different I must look and sound to him. I hadn't really seen anybody from my human life except for the Cullens, and even they were used to the new me. I wondered how the rest of the pack would react.

I followed Seth into the little living room and was shocked to see that there wasn't a familiar face in the room. Then it hit me—if the rest of the pack—Quil, Embry, Sam, and the rest—had died, nobody would have told me. How stupid had I been, to expect that Jacob would be the only one to die before I saw him again?

There were four other people there, three women and a man. Two of the women were older, Seth's age, about, and one looked to be in her thirties. The man was also young (for the group), maybe early forties.

"Bella, this is my wife, Caroline, and our daughter, Susanna—" I thought suddenly of Sue Clearwater and wondered how long ago she had died— "and her husband, Kyle. Everyone, this is Bella Swa—Cullen, an old friend of Jacob's." They stood up and shook my freezing hand. I wondered if they knew what I was. If they didn't, they had to be wondering how a teenaged girl would have been an "old friend" of Jake's.

The other old woman was wheelchair-bound—my heart lurched again as I thought of this house's past occupant in a wheelchair. She rolled over to me. She had long white hair and a face that must have been beautiful a long time ago. She held out a hand, and I was surprised to see that it was very steady. I shook it. "Evelyn Black," she said proudly.

I froze.

"Bella," Seth said, "this is Jacob's widow."

Widow.

Jacob had married.

"He didn't imprint, if that's what you're wondering," Evelyn said evenly. Well, that cleared up the question of werewolf/vampire knowledge in the room. "We met and fell in love normally."

I was still in shock. My Jacob had loved, had _married_ another woman. I guess the shock just went to show how self-centered I was. How often had I thought of Jacob, of La Push, in the past century? And how many shocks had I had in the past five minutes? Of course Jacob had found someone else. He had gotten over me, moved on, and met Evelyn. She was probably better for him than I was, perhaps mostly because she wasn't in love with a member of the enemy species, nor did she want to join said species. She had probably loved him like a normal wife. I should have felt happy for him. I wanted him to move on and be happy, didn't I? I didn't want him to be an old bachelor who pined for me his entire life!

The fact was, I did. Every time I pictured Jacob, I had pictured him alone, happy, but still missing me deep down. Still wishing I was there with him. I was disgusted with myself. How could I want that? I had Edward. I had an eternity with him. So what was this feeling deep inside of me?

It was jealousy. I was jealous of Evelyn Black.

How sick was that? I was jealous of the widow of the man I left nearly a hundred years ago. I _left_ him. I broke his heart. He mended it and found someone else. And I was jealous, as though he was still mine. I had no claim over him anymore. I gave it up. And now that someone else had it, I wanted it back.

But I still loved Edward, right?

Yes. And I never regretted my decision, and even thought I was jealous, I still didn't wish that I had never left. I knew I made the right choice. I just wished that he hadn't gotten over me.

Conclusion: I was still a very, very screwed up person.

* * *

After the introductions, I excused myself to go back to my "hotel." Like I needed one. All I was really going to do was find something to pass the night and change in the morning. I wanted to stay and talk to Seth, but the afternoon was tainted by meeting Evelyn. It was too awkward. Besides, nobody had asked me to stay for dinner; I guess they were afraid of what I might have said.

So, I drove around Forks. It had changed a lot. I passed the high school, which was nearly unrecognizable thanks to the modern renovations; it basically seemed that they had torn down the buildings and made new ones. The outdoors store where I had worked and the grocery store were gone; now that there were box stores in the area, their business had been taken. Finally, I arrived at my old house.

It was gone.

Sure, it was small. Sure, it probably fell apart after Charlie died, with no one to take care of it and probably no one to buy it. But the fact that anyone would _dare_ to destroy a place with so many of my most important memories…that they would destroy my home. I'd had a few homes since I'd left it, but this one was the most important, and would always be. Except that it was gone.

The woods had been chopped down as well. The neighborhood, which had really been us and a few other houses that were hardly even visible from my house, was completely renovated. It had huge modern houses packed tightly up against one another. It was a nightmare. I drove away quickly to the one other place that I hoped to God wasn't gone. It couldn't be.

Thankfully, the old white mansion hadn't been touched by humans. Unfortunately, it had been completely overrun by nature. I had to fight brambles and bushes to get through the meadow in front of it, which had become more like a forest than a meadow. When I got to the house, it was covered in ivy and creepers, so it was really more green than white. The walls had fallen in at some points, and I glimpsed the dark voids that had once been rooms. When I walked around to the glass wall, it had been shattered when a tree fell on it. Said tree was now lying on the first floor, the scar of its journey going through the other two stories. I knew that Edward's old room was one of the victims of the destruction. I couldn't bear to look any farther. I ran back to the car and jumped into the driver's seat, ready to leave Forks and never, ever return.

Then a hand fell on mine, and I looked up into his eyes. "Alice saw that you were going to have a little trouble almost as soon as you left," he said. "I figured you might need some company, so I hopped on the next plane."

He pulled me onto his lap as easily as if nothing had changed since we'd met. I curled into him, shaking with sorrow. There had been a few times like these in the past—times when I wished I could cry—and the worst I could remember were when Charlie and Renee died. This was definitely as bad. All my wounds were coming up: Jake's death, Jake's life, and Forks' transformation from the little town I had known to whatever it was now.

Finally, I got myself together. It was night. "I'm sorry," I said.

"It's okay," he answered. "That's what I'm here for."

We sat for a moment, staring back at his home.

"Did you know that Jake got married?"

He hadn't. "That's very…surprising, to say the least. Unless it was his imprint?"

I shook my head. "No. She said that their relationship was totally normal—well, as normal as it can be."

"But you're not happy?"

"I should be," I sighed, "but I guess that somewhere, deep down, I still felt…territorial. Like even after all these years, even though I left him, he still belonged to me. Don't get me wrong; I'm not regretting anything. I guess I just…wanted him to still want me. I'm sorry. I'm being totally ridiculous."

"No," he said. "You're not.

"When I…when I left, if I had never come back…" We both shuddered at the memory, but I nodded at him to continue. "Well, if I had checked in later and found you with him, or anyone for that matter, but apparently happy, I probably would have felt the same. I wanted you to have a normal life, though now I know better—" he smiled his perfect crooked smile—"you are entirely incapable of 'normal,' but I still would have been jealous. You have every right to feel the way you do."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"Not in the slightest. You're only human—well, not really, but you get the idea. It's normal. And I think that maybe you should talk to her tomorrow. It might be interesting."

As for the rest of that night, it was much improved by having him there with me.

* * *

As much as I wanted Edward to come with me to the funeral, I knew it wouldn't be right. I had to face this on my own. He waited outside the boundary line for me. The ceremony was going to be held in the meeting hall; apparently Jacob had ended up serving on the council. Then everyone would follow the casket to the reservation cemetery. It was closed casket, thank God. I didn't know much about Quileute burial rituals, but this was so like normal funerals that it probably didn't have anything to do with ancient customs.

It seemed that the entire reservation had turned up for the funeral, but Seth had saved me a seat in the front. A chair had been removed to make room for Evelyn Black's wheelchair. Awkwardly enough, the seat Seth held for me was between him and Evelyn. Great. I was uncomfortable being in the front. Other than my appearance, I would probably end up being the only person in the room who didn't cry. I could almost feel the future teary-eyed glares from those who didn't know _why_ I wasn't crying. Those who did know I expected would give me a wide berth. Then of course, there was the sitting-next-to-the-boy-who-loved me's-wife thing. _That _would be fun.

Seth spoke:

"Jacob Ephraim Black was many things. He was one of this community's finest leaders. He was a loving husband. He was a caring friend."

Maybe sometimes a little too caring.

"His carefree attitude and easy humor was a comfort to his friends and his family. He was responsible and devoted. Throughout his life, Jacob faced hardship and obstacles with courage, determination, and an uncompromising will to succeed. As a teenager, in the absence of his mother and sisters, Jacob cared for his handicapped father. He later aided in the volunteer police force here." Seth smiled knowingly. I wondered how many people in the room understood. "Even when he went through rough times, Jake understood his responsibility to his family and his community.

"It was all of these traits that made Jacob Black a good kid, a great man, and wonderful friend. I looked up to him as a kid. He was my friend from the day I was born to the moment he died. I will miss him greatly." He stepped down. Evelyn wheeled up and took his place.

"I met Jacob Black when I was twenty-six years old," she said. "I came to the reservation to teach in the high school. We met when my car broke down and I had to take it to his repair shop." Ah. So that's what he ended up doing. I could imagine Jacob working in a garage, tinkering with cars and continuing his hobby of building them. "I had never met such a man and never have since. He was quiet and solemn, yet sometimes he would break out in such fits of joy that it seemed as if the sun was shining from inside him."

The sun. My sun. My Jacob.

"A year after we met, Jacob and I were engaged. We were married on First Beach on July 11, 2045. He made my life better than it had ever been before. Even after I lost use of my legs, Jacob was never different. Of course, he was used to it. He didn't let anything defeat him. When he hit an obstacle, he'd throw himself into overcoming it. He inspired me to always move forward and never look back unless it was to learn. Our sixtieth wedding anniversary would have been this July." So it had taken Jake almost forty years to move on. Was it because he still loved me, or because he just never found anyone for so long?

The tears began to fall, but Evelyn's face remained strong. "I loved and still love Jacob. I will never meet another person who I care so much about. He was my everything. Though I hope I will survive him for a while yet, I look forward to the day that I will join him in heaven, and we will be together for eternity. In the words of one of my favorite authors, "Death cannot stop true love; it can only delay it for a little while. I will live by these words until I am with my Jacob again."

My Jacob.

Evelyn stepped down. Suddenly, I felt a poking in my side. Seth was nudging me, pointing towards the front of the room. I shook my head, self-conscious. He nodded eagerly. I sighed. Oh boy.

I stepped to the front and faced the crowd. I had no idea what to say. I decided to speak from my heart and hoped that I didn't screw up too badly.

"Jacob was my best friend. I know that may seem strange, considering my age, but time wasn't important in our friendship. When I went through a rough patch, the darkest months of my life, Jacob was there for me. Without him, I might not even have survived it. In this rainy climate, he was my personal sun, lighting my world through his smile and warming me through his caring." And literal body heat. "Even when I did things he didn't like, he didn't judge me for them. He understood why I made the decisions I made in my life, though he hated some of them." One in particular. "When I left Forks with my husband, we parted on good terms. I think we knew, somehow, that we would never see each other again. When the moments you spend with someone are the last, so many things stop mattering. Little things like who you love or what you want for your future are overshadowed by the finality. Life is too short to let things like that get in the way when you love someone, whether it's as a friend, a husband, or a brother.

"I'll miss Jacob for the rest of my life. I felt his loss when I left, and I feel it even more now that he's really gone forever. And for me, forever means forever. Though I try not to dwell on it, it's true: Jacob was a huge piece of my life. He made me much of who I am today. He's left his mark on me, and it will never go away, however long I live. It isn't an imprint, but it's enough."

I walked back to my seat as quickly as I could while still appearing human. A hundred years ago, I would have been blushing furiously. I sat back down next to Seth, who gave me an awkward hug. I didn't look at Evelyn, though I knew she was looking at me. I put my head in my hands, preparing to attempt to get through the rest of the service, but it appeared to be over. No one else got up to speak, and it seemed like only minutes later that we arrived at the cemetery.

Now was the hardest part. I had gotten through finding out. I had survived the service. But could I stand his body being lowered into the ground and covered?

I couldn't bear to look at the headstone or the coffin. I tried looking into the grave, but it was almost suffocating to think of Jacob rotting down there. I chose to look into the sky instead. The dark grey clouds seemed almost as sorrowful as the rest of us. All around me tears were gleaming on copper-toned cheeks. Wind whipped through the crowd. I stood in the front, right next to the grave. Seth stood next to me, reciting a prayer in Quileute, the only trace of religion I'd seen. They lowered the coffin, and the earth beneath my feet almost seemed colder than it had a moment before. Everyone sprinkled dirt on the coffin. When it came to be my turn, a few dry sobs escaped me. I quickly stopped breathing. If I allowed my oxygen intake to become too irregular, it would become impossible to control.

And then it was over. Everyone returned to the Black home for refreshments, but I stayed behind. Seth hugged me again before he left. "Thanks for coming, Bella," he said. "What you said back there was beautiful. If there is anything right in the world, he heard you."

"Sure it didn't just sound like I was his mistress?"

He chuckled. "Not too much. Evelyn?" I hadn't realized that the older woman was still there.

"I'd like to stay a little longer; you can go."

"But, um, everyone's leaving and I need to drive you home…"

"I'll drive her," I said. "If that's okay with you, Evelyn?"

She nodded. "Go on, Seth. People are going to need someone to apologize to."

Seth walked away, giving us one last glance before getting into his car.

Evelyn and I sat and stood next to the grave of the man we loved in silence. A few minutes after Seth left, she said, without turning away from the grave, "He never really got over you, you know."

"But—"

"He dulled the pain. I think he loved me. I'm fairly sure, actually. But I never had all of his heart. Somewhere inside, he still belonged to you. I knew him too well for him to hide it, but there were subtle reminders—a motorcycle speeding down the road, a cloudy morning on the beach, a storm over the cliffs—that would cause him to get a faraway look, as if his spirit was far away and long ago, remembering things I could only imagine. Then there were harsher things—a commercial for a horror movie, an off-hand reference, a book on a shelf—things that reminded him of who you are now. He warned me, of course. He told me that he'd been in love with a girl a long time ago, but she'd left him for his sworn enemy, despite the fact that she loved him back. That's what frustrated him the most, I think. The fact that you felt the same, but still left him. After all, isn't it expected that from mutual love comes a life spent together. When you left, you broke his heart. Completely. You really destroyed him."

"Please don't say it like that. It's not something I'm proud of."

"I'm just telling the truth, however sad it is. He'd pieced himself together, tried to forget, but he couldn't. I helped him. I filled up his wounds with _my_ love, but there are some wounds that never truly heal. He felt guilty, I think, sometimes, when he was reminded of you. He thought it would hurt me, but it didn't. Not really. I understood that he wasn't quite a whole person. A piece of him was missing. I didn't care. I loved him, whole or broken."

Everything she said about Jacob sounded eerily familiar. It was a perfect description of me without Edward. Jacob had been my healer, and Evelyn had been his. The only difference was, my long lost love returned, and his never did.

"Jacob and I both ended up with wonderful people that we love," I said, "and the scenarios should be the same, shouldn't they? I left him, and I miss him, and he missed me, but we each had someone to dull the pain. Only he missed me _more_. His pain was greater. Sure I thought about him, and wished that I could see him, but there was never a day I regretted my decision. I think there were a lot more days that he did. I had to make a gut-wrenching choice, but I can't live without my husband, and, obviously and unfortunately, I can live without Jacob."

"Two similar situations, yet so much more different than they should have been," she echoed.

I don't know how much longer we stood there, but eventually we realized that she needed to get home and I needed to meet Edward. As we turned away, a thought occurred to me. "Evelyn," I said, "would you like to get home my way?"

"What's your way?"

"A whole lot faster than a car, I can tell you that."

I ran the wheelchair over first and hid it in the bushes so that it would be there we she arrived, then I returned to the cemetery where she sat next to the grave. I picked her up gently. She barely weighed anything. "You might want to close your eyes," I advised.

She shook her head, smiling. "I want the full experience."

A blur of green and gray later, we were standing just inside the woods next to the Black home. I set her down in the wheelchair. "That was _quite_ an adventure," she said. "Thank you." I wheeled her to the door. "Go on, Bella," she said. "I can get in just fine."

"Thank you," I said to her. "Thanks for holding him together."

She smiled. "It was truly my pleasure."

* * *

I ran back to the car and drove out of La Push for what would probably be the last time for a while. My heart got lighter and lighter as I neared the border, for I knew who was waiting there. And it was this feeling that reassured me that I had made the right choice so long ago, when I walked away from here. It didn't matter that my sun was below the horizon. I had the light of the full, glorious moon to guide me through the never-ending twilight of my life.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it and will go read Shadow of the Day! If you like these, keep me on your alert, because I should have a much longer story coming sometime this summer!

R+R!

Lena


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